What is Grooming?

Grooming is a predatory process that has evolved significantly over the years.

While grooming is often discussed in the context of child abuse, it’s important to understand that it can happen to anyone, regardless of age.

The reality is that government policies and media reports continue to portray grooming primarily as an issue affecting children.

However, we have to remember that grooming affects adults, too.

The Metropolitan Police defines grooming as:

‘…when a person builds a relationship with a child, young person or an adult who’s at risk so they can abuse them and manipulate them into doing things. The abuse is usually sexual or financial, but it can also include other illegal acts. Grooming can take place online or in person and it can happen over a short or long period of time – from days to years.’

Grooming is a calculated and manipulative process where the groomer establishes trust and emotional connection with their victim, aiming to exploit and abuse them for personal gain.

Groomers often use sophisticated tactics to gain their victim’s trust and, in some cases, the trust of the victim’s family and other professionals involved in their care.

Contrary to popular belief, groomers aren’t always strangers; they are often known to the victim, such as family members, friends, or authority figures.

A Shift in Grooming Tactics

Before the advent of mobile phones (because, yes, there was such a time), grooming primarily occurred in physical settings where adults could exploit positions of trust or authority. Common examples included family friends, coaches, teachers, and religious leaders who were in close contact with children and could gradually build relationships over time without raising suspicion. Groomers could maintain secrecy through threats, bribery, and emotional manipulation, making it difficult for victims to come forward.

While grooming in these settings still occurs, the landscape of grooming began to shift with the rise in popularity and accessibility of mobile phones in the early 2000s, which facilitate private communication between abusers and victims. This increased privacy and ability to hide behind a screen makes it easier for abusers to conceal their actions from parents, caregivers, and authorities. This period also saw the emergence of new concerns, such as ‘sexting’ and digital exploitation.

The launch of the iPhone in 2007 marked a further turning point. As smartphones became widespread, there was easy access to the internet and social media platforms. This dramatically altered grooming dynamics, allowing abusers to reach potential victims through various online channels, including social media, chat rooms, and online gaming communities. Groomers often use fake identities to befriend victims, gaining their trust before engaging in manipulative and exploitative behaviour.

It’s crucial to remember that online grooming is not limited to minors. As I’ve mentioned, adults are also susceptible to such manipulation. Popular shows like MTV’s ‘Catfish’ offer a glimpse into how grooming can affect adults, demonstrating that vulnerability is not confined to age.

Does Grooming Only Happen Online?

Laws such as the Sexual Offences Act (2003) in the UK have specifically targeted grooming, making it a criminal offence. However, in recent years a dangerous misconception has developed that grooming is only an online phenomenon.

While the internet has undoubtedly expanded the reach of groomers, the threat of in-person grooming remains ever-present. We all have a responsibility to remain aware of all grooming risks and understand that they can occur in any environment, whether physical or digital.

Grooming is a multifaceted issue that requires comprehensive awareness and proactive measures to address effectively.

Legislation in the United States

The USA has its own approach to safeguarding. Megan’s Law, enacted in 1996, was one of the first pieces of legislation to create a publicly accessible sex offender registry. Each state has its version of child protection, and whilst they share similarities to UK legislation, similar criticisms arise.

Effective safeguarding is not just about having laws in place; it’s about training professionals, implementation of up-to-date training and practice, and continuous vigilance.

Is Grooming the Same as Seduction?

When I was researching my book, I came across some interesting work from Kenneth Lanning that suggested that the word ‘grooming’ has largely replaced the word ‘seduction’.

To begin with, I wasn’t sure about this viewpoint, but the more I’ve considered it, the more I find myself agreeing.

After all, if we compare the definition of seduction with the definitions we have of grooming, it’s easy to see why this point is being made.

‘Seduction’ is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as ‘the attractive quality of something’. And ‘the act of persuading someone to have sex with you’. Ok, that’s pretty on the chin.

The definition of ‘seduce’ is even more direct: ‘to make someone feel attracted to you and want to have sex with you, often someone younger or less experienced’. And ‘to persuade or cause someone to do something that they would not usually consider doing by being very attractive and difficult to refuse’.

Related words for seduction and seduce are:

• Lure
• Honeytrap
• Tempt
• Charm offensive
• Incentive
• Entice

These all seem like pretty concerning synonyms when you consider that grooming largely happens (although not always) between adult men and younger females.

So, with the above in mind, I’d be tempted to say, yes, seduction is just another word for grooming.