Violence against women and girls is a national emergency and one that we all have a responsibility to help end. And doing so is a vital step towards creating a safer and more equal society and to end violence against women and girls.
But saying and doing are two different things.
If I truly had a magic wand, I’d wish the pain and experience of any woman and girl who has ever been a victim of sexual violence away from them. I’d also adjust the whole system so that no woman or girl would ever experience sexual violence now or in the future.
However, this is not going to happen.
So, in the absence of a magic wand, here are my recommendations for what I would like to see happen moving forward in society.
What is Violence Against Women and Girls?
To properly understand how to end violence against women and girls, we first of all need to know what VAWG is.
VAWG stands for Violence Against Women and Girls and is any type of behaviour that causes harm, fear, control, or humiliation to women and girls because of their gender.
VAWG includes a wide range of actions, including:
- Physical violence
- Sexual violence
- Emotional abuse
- Coercive control
- Stalking
- Harassment (both online and offline)
- Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)
- Forced marriage
- So-called “honour-based” violence
- Financial abuse
VAWG can happen to any woman or girl, regardless of age, race, religion, background, or sexuality. It often takes place in everyday settings:
- At home
- At school
- At work
- Online
- Or even in public.
The common thread that ties all forms of VAWG together is inequality and power.
It’s about one person trying to dominate or harm another, rooted in deep societal issues that teach girls that males are in control.
Subtle examples of VAWG include:
- Staring, catcalling, or making sexual comments in public, even if meant as “flattery”
- Undermining career or ambitions, often framed as being “realistic”
- Treating consent as a grey area, e.g. “you didn’t say no”
- Making someone feel unsafe walking alone at night, just by following closely or staring
Understanding what VAWG looks like, especially the more subtle forms, is the first step towards challenging it.
Because if we don’t know what we’re looking for, then we don’t see it. And if we don’t see it, then we can’t stop it.
#1. Safeguarding Training Needs to Stop Being Viewed as a Tick-Box Activity
As a professional, I get it. We have so much mandatory training and CPD to keep on top of and that your safeguarding update is no longer interesting or your top priority.
However, we all have to keep up to date with safeguarding practices.
Not only this, but those teaching safeguarding are responsible for ensuring that those attending the training see the relevance of what they’re being taught.
Sadly, I’ve sat in safeguarding training before where the trainer can’t see the point in what they’re teaching.
In this case, find someone else to deliver the training. Safeguarding training is too important to be taught half-arsed.
Equally, I’ve sat in safeguarding training sessions where attendees have no clue why they’re there…again.
They’ve done this training before, isn’t that enough?
No.
Because if it were enough, then we wouldn’t be missing opportunities to safeguard women and girls against sexual violence.
We need to keep emphasising that safeguarding is an ongoing responsibility and not just a one-time training event.
#2. There Needs to Be More Money Put into Helping Victims and Survivors of Sexual Violence
I don’t make this recommendation lightly. I get that we live in an economy where the cost of living is spiralling out of control. I also get that Government money allocations and spending aren’t as simple as just writing a cheque or handing out cash when someone thinks it’s a good idea.
But more money is needed to support women and girls who have been victims of sexual violence.
In 2022, the UK Government pledged an extra £40million to support victims of rape and domestic abuse.
This might sound like a lot, but if we consider that in 2021 67,125 rapes were reported in England and Wales, this equates to £595.90 per rape victim.
If we consider all of the other types of sexual offences and domestic abuse situations, then per victim, the budget is even less than that.
In most areas of the UK, this wouldn’t even cover a 6-week round of counselling.
Suddenly the £40million doesn’t sound so much, does it?
We also know that for some people, waiting times for therapy services run into months, if not years.
Whilst some of this wait is due to recruitment and retention of trained and qualified staff, there’s also a link between long waiting lists and a lack of funding to attract qualified people to these support roles and to keep those jobs in place long-term.
Funding sexual abuse support services is essential in helping survivors recover from trauma and receive mental health care after sexual violence.
#3. We Need to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Nothing about writing my book or this blog is comfortable.
None of the conversations that I’ve had with people about the topic of sexual violence against women and girls has been comfortable. And this is why we need to get better at breaking the silence around sexual violence.
But to properly acknowledge the issue and start to tackle it, we need to put aside our British stiff-upper-lip of what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors and actively get involved in these conversations.
Discussing sexual violence is inherently uncomfortable, yet silence and discomfort only serve to perpetuate the problem. We need to promote people talking about rape culture and victim blaming culture in a way that is healthy and helps others to change their own harmful or outdated attitudes and behaviours.
By confronting these difficult conversations head-on, we can break down the stigma and societal norms that allow sexual violence to persist. Public awareness campaigns and open dialogue in educational institutions and community forums are essential.
Creating safe spaces where survivors can share their experiences and where the community can learn about the realities of sexual violence is critical. Discomfort should not deter action; it should motivate change.
#4. We Need to Stop Thinking That Signs of Abuse Only Amount to Physical Injuries
Abuse is often invisible, manifesting as emotional, psychological, and harm that does not leave visible marks. A victim’s silence, anxiety, depression, or withdrawal from social interactions can be indicators of abuse.
In fact, spotting the signs of emotional abuse, coercive control, and grooming behaviours is essential is just as important as being aware of the physical signs of abuse.
Whilst there is a percentage of abuse cases that do include physical injuries, education on the non-physical signs of abuse is crucial for professionals and volunteers working with any person of any age, background, or personal situation.
Training should focus on recognising behavioural and emotional cues, understanding the dynamics of control and manipulation in abusive relationships, and knowing how to respond appropriately.
Listening to victims and believing their experiences is fundamental to expanding our knowledge of non-physical injuries when it comes to sexual violence.
We also need more training and conversation around how grooming presents itself, what to look out for when it comes to grooming behaviours, and how to raise concerns with children and teenagers who may not realise that they are being groomed.
We all have a role a play when it comes to dismantling the systems that contribute to the silence of victims.
For some, this will mean amplifying the voices of victims and survivors. For others, this will be challenging harmful behaviours and stereotypes in conversation within our communities.
Change starts with small and deliberate actions.
#5. There Needs to be More Trauma-Informed Therapy Services
Trauma-informed care is essential for supporting victims effectively.
Such services acknowledge the impact of trauma on mental health and focus on providing a safe, empathetic, and non-judgmental environment. This approach helps victims rebuild trust and regain control over their lives.
There’s a reason why therapists specialise in different areas; it’s because they develop their practice and CPD to best support individuals with their specific needs.
Therefore, trauma-informed support training needs to be made accessible to any professional working with victims of sexual violence to ensure that the support delivered is as relevant and person-centred to that individual as it can be.
Also, trauma-informed support needs to be available where and when women and girls need it, not months or years down the road.
#6. Stay Professionally Curious, and Speak Up When Concerned
So often, children, including teenagers, won’t or can’t speak up when they’re being abused.
The same can be said for adults.
Feelings of being threatened, shame, guilt, sadness, hopelessness, and not understanding you’re being abused are all reasons why women and girls struggle to speak up about sexual violence.
Therefore, professionals and community members must remain vigilant and observant of any concerns of sexual violence, however small. Even subtle changes in behaviour, unexplained absences from work or school, or emotional withdrawal can be signs that something is wrong.
But it’s not just about noticing or being suspicious of someone being a victim of sexual violence.
We must trust our instincts and speak up when we suspect that something isn’t right, even if we don’t have concrete evidence.
Escalating concerns to the appropriate authorities or safeguarding leads ensures that the situation can be properly assessed and that support can be offered.
Our responsibility is to act in the best interests of those who may be at risk, erring on the side of caution that someone could be the victim of sexual violence, rather than staying silent. In doing so, we can prevent further harm and ensure that women and girls receive the help and protection they need.
You might think that your suspicion is insignificant, but it could be a piece of a much wider jigsaw that you’re unaware of and could mean the difference between someone being seen and receiving support and someone who does not.
#7. Implement Comprehensive Sex Education Throughout the Education System
Education needs to include conversations about consent, healthy relationships, and recognising abusive behaviours.
And I don’t just mean ‘yes means yes’ and ‘no means no.’
As we’ve discussed in this blog post, consent is far more complicated than that, especially when it comes to grooming and coerced consent.
Early and age-appropriate sex education in schools can empower children and young people to identify and speak up about abusive situations and to understand their rights and boundaries.
Educating children and young people about empathy, respect, and the impact of sexual violence not only helps potential victims but might just also discourage potential perpetrators.
Teaching consent and healthy relationships from a young age, and creating a culture where respect for consent and personal boundaries is the norm could significantly reduce the incidence of sexual violence.
Sex education is not only for children and young people.
We need to ensure that the individuals delivering this training have appropriate safety nets in place to support them and their own mental well-being when delivering education on these topics.
We don’t always know the past or current experiences of our colleagues or staff, and we need to ensure that staff are appropriately supported when delivering sex education.
#8. Strengthen Legal Protections and Response
We need to proactively work to strengthen and refine legislation relating to sexual violence to ensure that perpetrators and sex offenders are held accountable for their actions.
We need to get to a point in society where no girl or woman is told that there are no laws that a perpetrator can be convicted under.
Sexual abuse and sexual violence are never acceptable, and legislation needs to reflect this.
Our legal systems also need to ensure that they are victim-centred.
We need to get away from this archaic idea of asking a girl or woman what she was wearing, how much she had drunk, and other victim-blaming questions.
We aren’t asking these questions of the perpetrator, so therefore, we need to stop asking them of the victim.
The answers to these questions are irrelevant anyway because sexual violence is sexual violence and it is wrong, regardless of the situation.
Training of law enforcement officers, prosecutors, and judges on how to handle cases of sexual violence with the necessary sensitivity and understanding needs to continue.
As with recommendation one, this training needs to be ongoing and not viewed as a ‘waste of time’ or a ‘tick-box activity.’
I regard myself as lucky that the police officer who I dealt with was victim-centred and willing to listen without judgment.
I am aware that this is not the case for every victim of sexual violence.
We All Have a Role in Ending Violence Against Women and Girls
Ending violence against women and girls isn’t just the responsibility of survivors, campaigners, or support services. It’s a collective effort that requires everyone to pay attention, take action, and speak up.
We must stop treating safeguarding, sex education, and trauma-informed care as optional extras.
These are vital and necessary tools in tackling gender-based violence and creating a society where women and girls are safe, supported, and heard.
Whether you’re a professional working with vulnerable individuals, a parent raising children, or someone who wants to be part of the solution, your voice and actions matter.
Change starts with awareness, but it’s sustained by accountability, funding, education, and a willingness to challenge outdated attitudes.
We may not have a magic wand to erase the harm already done, but we do have the power to prevent more harm from happening. Let’s use it.
Together, we can build a future where ending violence against women and girls isn’t just a campaign slogan; it’s a reality.
This post is adapted from a section of It's All Your Fault - due for release in 2025.
