It never ceases to amaze me just how many VAWG myths (myths about Violence Against Women and Girls) still exist in today’s world.
Throughout researching the various elements of It’s All Your Fault, I was staggered by the number of outrageous myths which feed the narratives of self-blame for women and girls affected by sexual violence.
So, in this blog, we will address 6 common VAWG myths about sexual violence against women and girls, particularly those in the 16–18-year-old age bracket.
My hope is that this piece will educate you, empower you to challenge your own views, or empower you to challenge the views of others.
Myth No 1: Teenagers Engage in Risky Behaviour Which Makes Them More Likely to be Victims of Sexual Violence
First off, the problem with this myth is that it feeds into victim blame culture.
Not only does this myth shift the blame onto the teenage victims of sexual violence, but it also creates a dangerous misunderstanding of the nature of sexual violence.
Teenagers subjected to sexual violence are not at fault, regardless of whatever ‘risky’ behaviour they were undertaking. Studies indicate that young women aged 16-24 years old are at the highest risk for sexual violence, regardless of their behaviour. This risk is not related to any specific actions or choices made by the victim but rather to the presence of a perpetrator who chooses to be sexually violent.
Because yes, I do believe that people choose to be sexually violent.
The Teenage Brain
The teenage brain is often seen as being a confusing and complex thing. In some ways, it is. As a teenager, you’re going through all sorts of developmental and social changes.
This, mixed with changing hormones, school pressures, and whatever else is going on in a teenager’s life, makes the teenage years challenging to navigate.
But let’s be a little more scientific for a minute.
The frontal lobe of the brain, responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and reasoning, does not reach full maturity until someone is in their mid-20s. In my opinion, this physical developmental landmark is often used as an excuse for teenagers to take risks and act recklessly.
Labelling Teens as ‘Streetwise’
But in contrast to this, as a society, we are encouraged to assume that children, particularly older teens, are more ‘streetwise’ and ‘mature’ than they are.
After all, teenagers can’t be that reckless and lack the capacity for rational thought, otherwise, why on earth do we give 16-18-year-olds huge responsibilities such as voting, getting married, joining the army, having children, consenting to sex, buying knives, driving, choosing career paths etc.
From the ages of 13 and 14 years old, we expect teenagers to know what career they want and encourage them to choose GCSE options based on this aspiration.
If teens are so irrational and take so many risks, surely society shouldn’t give teens these huge levels of responsibility?
So, we give teens these responsibilities, yet when teens venture outside these parameters of responsibility, we call them reckless and suggest they got what was coming to them. Irony, much?
This adultification is a groomer’s dream because encouraging children to essentially be seen as adults means that those around them don’t see the need for enforcing safeguarding procedures.
Teens Aren’t As Reckless As We Make Out
The truth, therefore, must be that teenagers are not as reckless and immature as we often paint them to be.
The truth, surely, is that the teenage brain is not so immature and that 16 to 18-year-olds can make informed decisions and understand the consequences of their actions. If not, why are teenagers of these ages determined to have capacity under law?
Even if teenagers do engage in ‘risky’ behaviours out of peer pressure and experimentation, these behaviours must not be seen as an invitation for sexual violence.
And let’s be honest for a minute: adults also participate in risky behaviours.
We don’t like to think that we do because we are mature adults.
But we do.
Think of the 40-year-old professional who sinks a bottle of wine every night. Isn’t that a risky behaviour?
The 30-year-old father who smokes around his pregnant partner. Isn’t that a risky behaviour?
The 50-year-old who refuses to adjust their diet to prevent the onset of type 2 diabetes. Isn’t that a risky behaviour?
Other ‘risky’ behaviours that adults partake in (but are accepted socially due to their age) include binge drinking, having a poor diet, turning up late for work, and not taking medication correctly.
I could go on, but I think I’ve made the point.
Somehow, these ‘risky’ behaviours are accepted by society. The list is endless, but it also demonstrates the point that society has a very warped view as to when adults carry out ‘risky’ behaviours versus when teenagers do.
Therefore, supporting the myth that teenagers engaging in risky behaviour puts them at a higher likelihood of sexual violence feeds into the myth that sexual violence happens at the hands of strangers in dark alleyways.
Myth No 2: Once Someone Is 18 Years Old, They Are No Longer Vulnerable and Don’t Need to be Protected
Turning 18 does not magically bestow an individual with complete protection from sexual violence, and the transition to adulthood involves navigating complex social and personal landscapes, often with little support or guidance.
While legally considered adults, individuals in the 18-24 age range remain highly vulnerable. Research shows that young women in this age group are still significantly at risk of sexual violence, underscoring the need for continued support and protection.
We know that women and girls aged 16-24 are at the highest risk for sexual violence, regardless of their behaviour.
Also, the majority of rape cases are carried out by someone known to the victim.
Sexual violence does not discriminate based on age, and older teenagers and young adults can still be susceptible to exploitation and assault.
The notion that turning 18 years old means that someone is now fully mature and resilient is deeply flawed.
Legally, reaching the age of 18 marks the transition to adulthood, but it does not inherently equip you with the emotional, psychological, or practical skills needed to navigate adult life independently.
The Reality
In the UK, many 18-year-olds are still in education, training, or participating in NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) provisions.
Statistics show that in 2022, around 57.5% of 18-year-olds were in full-time education.
These environments often treat 18-year-olds similarly to younger students, recognising that despite their legal adult status, they still require support and guidance.
So then, why, from a sexual assault point of view, do we assume that teenagers should know what they’re doing and take responsibility for their actions when we spend most of the week treating them like school children?
Myth No 3: Teenagers Cry Rape and Sexual Assault Because They Have a Lack of Sexual Experience
People don’t cry rape and sexual assault because they lack sexual experience.
They report rape and sexual assault because they have been a victim of sexual violence.
Statistics for false rape allegations vary depending on the study looked at but tend to sit at around 2-8%. However, this is no more than the average false reporting rate for other categories of crime.
Teenagers, like adults, report sexual assault not because of their sexual inexperience but because they have been victims of sexual violence.
Dismissing any reports of sexual violence based on this myth only serves to further victimise and stigmatise women and girls who have experienced sexual violence, potentially deterring other victims from coming forward.
Myth No 4: Teenagers Experience Sexual Violence from People They Don’t Know
I mentioned in myth number 1 that rape and sexual violence are more likely to be carried out by someone known to the victim.
This is often a startling piece of information for the general public who seem to have a stereotype in their mind that rapists and those who commit acts of sexual violence are lurking in dark alleyways and side streets with a hoodie up waiting for their next victim to stroll on by.
Don’t get me wrong, many acts of sexual violence do occur in this manner, however, contrary to popular belief, the majority of acts of sexual violence are perpetrated by someone known to the victim.
This is true for teenagers as well as adults.
Perpetrators Are Most Likely Known to Their Victim
According to statistics, in many cases of sexual assault, the perpetrator is an acquaintance, friend, or family member.
Only 1 in 10 rapes are carried out by strangers of the victim.
To put it into more of a context:
- 39% of sexual violence is committed by someone the victim knows;
- 33% of sexual violence is committed by a former intimate partner (former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend);
- 19.5% of sexual violence is committed by a stranger;
- 6% of sexual violence is committed by more than one person, or the survivor cannot remember;
- 2.5% of sexual violence is committed by a non-spouse relative (RAINN, 2024b).
This myth that teenagers experience sexual violence from people that they don’t know can create a false sense of security and prevent young people from recognising and reporting abuse from individuals within their family and social circles.
It also stops those working with teenagers from spotting the signs of abuse by those with frequent contact with a young person.
Myth No 5: Rape and Sexual Assault Towards Teenagers Doesn’t Happen Where I Live
F*ck me (no pun intended), but the ignorance of some people who genuinely think that sexual violence towards teenage girls doesn’t occur where they live is just astounding.
And yes, I’ve heard this thought process many, many times.
For some reason, people seem to think that sexual violence occurs to people living in certain towns or cities, have a certain socio-economic status, and have a certain lifestyle.
This is not true.
The belief that sexual violence is confined to certain areas or demographics is dangerously misleading. Sexual violence either occurs or has the potential to occur in every community, regardless of socioeconomic status, race, or location.
Myth No 6: Sexual Harassment and Assault Are Just Things That Happen to Young Women. They’ll Get Over It
Let’s break down another VAWG myth; that sexual harassment and assault don’t have profound and long-lasting impacts on victims.
Because this is 100% wrong.
Sexual harassment and assault can have a huge long-term impact on victims.
This is a fact; there’s no sugarcoating it.
Experiences of sexual violence can lead to a range of physical, emotional, and psychological issues, including PTSD, depression, and anxiety.
To me, this is one of the worst VAWG myths because the idea that any woman or girl can simply ‘get over’ sexual harassment and assault is deeply misguided, dismissive and frankly disrespectful of the profound and lasting impact such experiences can have on an individual’s life.
The Impact of this VAWG Myth of Teens
Sexual violence, especially when perpetrated by someone known to the victim, fundamentally disrupts your ability to trust others and trust your own judgment.
This betrayal of trust by someone within your social circle can also affect your ability to form new relationships and trust others in the future.
When trust is shattered in such an intimate and personal way, it becomes exceedingly difficult for victims to rebuild that trust, not only in others but also in themselves.
The impact of sexual violence on self-trust is significant. Victims often struggle with self-blame and doubt their judgment in choosing whom to trust. This can lead to isolation, as you may avoid forming new relationships out of fear of being hurt again.
The betrayal that you experienced can cause you to question your ability to assess the safety and intentions of others, leading to a heightened sense of vulnerability and self-doubt.
Dismissing these experiences as something young women will simply ‘get over’ trivialises trauma and can hinder recovery.
Support systems and professional help are crucial in aiding victims to heal and move forward with their lives.
How Can I Challenge VAWG Myths?
We’ve covered 6 VAWG myths in this post, and I hope that some of them have made you think and consider your own views on this challenging topic.
If you hear other people advocating these VAWG myths, there are a few things you can do:
Call Them Out
This doesn’t mean that you need to go in with all guns blazing. But politely pointing out how their view is incorrect or outdated is a first step to challenging VAWG myths.
A lot of people don’t realise that their views feed into victim-blaming culture.
If the person you’re speaking to doesn’t agree with you calling them out, that’s fine. Don’t let it upset you. You’ve made your point clear and hopefully they’ll reflect on that quietly later on.
Offer to Educate
There are a wealth of resources available online (including this blog!!) that you can point people to where they can educate themselves about the realties of violence against women and girls and VAWG myths.
Whilst some people are only too happy to learn, remember that not everyone is.
This is their right, but I’d encourage you not to get too upset if someone refuses to be educated on this topic. I’d rather you put your energy into something more productive, such as educating and challenging the views of people who will actually listen to you.
If it feels right for you, you might want to share your own personal views on VAWG myths that relate into your own experiences.
But know that sharing your personal stories isn’t obligatory when challenging VAWG myths.
Know That You Can’t Change Everyone’s Views
This is a sad but true state of affairs. We can’t make everyone think like us.
Whilst it might seem obvious to you that these myths are just that, some people will always hold onto the belief that victims somehow bought on an assault themselves.
What you can do in such a situation is politely tell someone (or think to yourself if you can’t speak to them) that you politely disagree with their comment and/or views and won’t be engaging in a debate with them about the subject.
Pin For Later
Keeley Brennan is a writer and campaigner who speaks out about Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG), using her own lived experience to raise awareness and inspire change. Through her blog and upcoming books, she’s creating space for difficult conversations to happen. The name Keeley means beautiful, and Brennan is Irish for sorrow; a reminder that even in the darkest places, something meaningful can grow.
This post is adapted from a section of It's All Your Fault - due for release in 2025.